Somewhere to Begin
by Poicale
Summary: Set at Hogwarts, a prequel to my other stories. Featuring the original characters of Cassius Malfoy, Corbin Hill, Jack Bartleby, and Aloysius Stevens.
1. The First September

**Somewhere to Begin**

Author's Notes: This is a pet project that probably no one else but me will read but I'm really enjoying writing it so I thought I would publish it. :-) This is a prequel to all of the rest of my stories and takes place at Hogwarts. It is focused on Cassius and Corbin but features appearances by Remus, Sirius, and other original characters that I have written about (Stevens, Jack, and Owen). There are specific references to Chapter 1 of "Collide" but I don't think you will miss much if you haven't read that.

**Chapter 1 The First September**

At the Welcoming Feast, after riding in boats with children two years younger than him, Corbin was sorted along with all the first years. He had hoped to be sorted into Gryffindor along with Jack, but he was sorted into Ravenclaw. He sat down at the long table and startled when food suddenly appeared.

As they were walking out of the hall, someone tapped Corbin on the shoulder. "I'm sorry you're not in Gryffindor," Jack shook his head sadly. "Not everyone can be so lucky, I guess."

"Watch it, Bartleby." A tall blond-haired boy said, a grin negating his low tone.

"Be sure and tell Professor Flitwick, that's your head of house, that you need a wand and books. He's really nice, he'll help you." Jack said, glancing at Stevens. "All right? And…I'll see you in class, or in the library or around. "

Corbin nodded "Thanks."

Bartleby shoved his way back through the students

"I'll take you to Flitwick's room, now if you want." The blond boy said. "I'm Stevens. Come on."

* * *

After stopping in to see Professor Flitwick, Stevens introduced Corbin to several other students who were on a team of a sport Corbin had never heard of.

He was put into a dorm room with three other boys, a black-haired boy, a blond boy, and a boy with white-blond hair. None of the boys introduced themselves to him and he didn't care.

Corbin curled up in his bed as two of the boys talked about their summers. He was sleeping in a castle with people who could do magic. It didn't feel magical at all.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast there was pumpkin juice and cereals he had never heard of. Then hundreds of owls flew through the hall dropping envelopes and packages to happy children. All the children sitting around Corbin had gotten letters or packages from their families. Corbin swallowed food that tasted like sawdust. His family wouldn't be sending him anything, he was an abomination.

He got up from breakfast and wandered through the castle until he found the library. He found a corner, where there was a curved window next to a table. He climbed onto the window ledge and looked down, he was higher than he thought, and his stomach turned. He rested his head against the window and looked out at the lake and the rolling hills. He

wondered how far he was from home.

* * *

"Ah, here you are," Professor Dumbledore's voice startled him. Corbin suddenly realized he had no idea if he was supposed to be somewhere.

"I'm so sorry, Professor, am I missing class? I didn't check my schedule."

"No, you will not be attending any classes. It's been decided that you will do a special course of study since you have two years to catch up on. You are a very bright student, I've every confidence in you that you will be able to do it by the end of the year. And, as it happens, there's another student who is also in need of a special course of study so you will have a study partner."

"But sir, I don't have any books and…" Corbin couldn't speak for a moment around the lump in his throat, his parents wouldn't give him any money for anything involving this school.

"You will be able to share books with Cassius. Professor Flitwick told me that you need a wand and your school uniform. The school has funds for those students who can't afford these things. Hagrid will take you to Diagon Alley, he's waiting for you in the entrance hall."

Hagrid was a towering giant - and Corbin was pretty sure that was actually possible in this strange new world he was living in.

* * *

Dumbledore introduced him to his professor who was translucent, and his study partner who, Corbin thought to himself with a laugh, was almost as pale. The boy, Cassius, was a third-year Ravenclaw like he was, Corbin recognized him from the dorms.

Professor Binns assigned them some reading and told them he'd meet them at tea time for a discussion on the material, then he left by floating through the stone wall. Having a professor that was a ghost was just insane, and Corbin desperately wished he could just be normal and go home.

Corbin looked at his new study partner who was looking back at him. He was very good looking...Corbin mentally swore at himself. He was not good looking, he just looked...like he looked. He had green eyes and a long straight nose. He was shorter than Corbin by a few inches - Corbin had been one of the tallest boys in his grade so that wasn't surprising - and his white-blond hair looked like it had been cut by someone who had never cut hair before. Corbin watched as the boy put his hand to his mouth and started biting his nails before stopping as suddenly as if he'd been slapped. Fantastic, thought Corbin, my new study partner is just as strange as the rest of this place.

"Are you a new student too?" Corbin asked, but Cassius just looked back at him without answering. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm the first wizard in my family, and my parents aren't happy about it - it's why I didn't come two years ago, only I kept making strange things happen and, well, here I am."

Cassius looked at him, and then looked at the stacks of books on the table. He searched through the piles for a moment and then picked a book up and handed it to Corbin. The book looked almost new and had gold lettering on it, "The History of Magic, Volume I".

"Thanks," Corbin smiled, interpreting the gesture to be friendly. "That will be a good place to start."

* * *

After a few weeks, Corbin felt like he was getting a handle on the castle where owls and ghosts swooped in during meals, where staircases moved as you were trying to find your way back to your room, and where his study partner never spoke a word.

"Hello," Corbin said, sitting down at their table in their classroom and opening one of his books. They met after every meal, even though Binns only met with them after breakfast and at teatime. It was nice not to have to haul around a book bag, they were able to keep their books there and the old-fashioned quills and ink and scrolls all the students used. Corbin missed his trusty number two pencils.

"How do you always get here before me? I know for sure you were still eating when I left the Great Hall just now." He didn't expect an answer anymore, but he paused just the same. "I finished my essay on chapter eight so I'm moving on to chapter nine. Professor Binns said we could sit in on Professor MacGonnagall's Introduction to Transfiguration class tomorrow. But I don't know - I felt a bit awkward about it - so I said I wouldn't go."

Corbin didn't like the thought of having to find a spot in a class of students who he didn't know and who would stare at him. Wizarding children had obviously never been taught that staring was impolite.

Corbin leaned over so he could see the page number of the book Cassius was on. "Oh, good, I've almost caught up to you. Binns said we could start doing the essays together if we wanted."

Cassius shoved his quill and inkpot towards Corbin almost comically fast.

"You'll have to talk if you want me to do the writing." Corbin looked at Cassius. It didn't seem like that would happen anytime soon. Jones acted like he and Cassius were friends but Corbin hadn't heard Cassius say a word to anyone. He was pretty sure the other boy was mute. And probably even 'special' as his gran used to say. Corbin had peeked at one of his essays the other day and it read as if written by a much younger student: poor grammar, poor spelling, and poor penmanship.


	2. The First October

**Author's Note (Part 1): Thank you so much to ****Cherry8914 for their review! In honor of that, here's another chapter. :-) **

**Chapter 2 The First October**

The next morning after breakfast, Corbin put his napkin down on the table and stood up to go to their classroom. He noticed Cassius standing up at the same time from his seat farther down the long table. Cassius made eye contact and then turned and started walking out of the great hall. Corbin followed him, wondering what was going to happen - Cassius rarely made eye contact.

He easily caught up - his legs were longer - and Cassius kept walking, but not in the direction Corbin usually went to get to their classroom. Cassius turned into a hallway that got narrower and darker as they went along.

"This corridor is really creepy. That was a cobweb, wasn't it? I better not have a spider on me. And...where are you?" Corbin stopped. He heard footsteps coming back towards him and a warm hand took his. Cassius tugged on his hand and started walking again. "How do you even see, it's pitch dark." And then suddenly he was blinking in the hallway, the passage having ended almost next to their classroom.

"That's how you get here before I do?" Corbin asked. "That's so much faster!"

Cassius sat down at the table and pushed a thick book across the table towards Corbin.

"Hogwarts: A History." Corbin read the cover, "Does this mention the secret passages?"

Professor Binns had been pleased with how much material they had covered in the first month and had let them do more and more of the reading at their own pace. Corbin wondered if he'd have time to read the book in addition to the ones on their reading list.

* * *

Corbin went to hide in their classroom. It was a Saturday so he should have it all to himself. He wasn't sure what Cassius did on Saturdays, something with Jones and Stevens, but Corbin was never invited.

This day he felt more isolated than ever, it was his birthday and his parents hadn't sent him anything. He'd hoped...but they hated him. He didn't have any friends, it was hard to make friends when you weren't in any classes with them. And as much time as he spent with Cassius, one-sided conversations didn't mean a friendship either.

He startled when he heard a noise. He turned and saw Cassius peering into the room.

Corbin quickly turned back to the window, trying to wipe the evidence of his tears from his face. There was scraping against the stones as Cassius climbed onto the window ledge. Cassius held out something, moving it closer when Corbin didn't reach for it. Corbin finally took it and saw it was a large bar of chocolate with 'Hapy Berthday' written on it in Cassius's childish print.

"How'd you know?" Corbin asked in amazement.

Cassius looked out the window. Professor Flitwick was walking across the courtyard.

"Professor Flitwick told you?" Corbin asked.

Cassius looked at him.

"Thank you." Corbin sniffled, feeling more tears welling up at the thoughtfulness of this silent boy.

Cassius tilted his head and looked at Corbin for a moment. Then he hopped down from the ledge and left the room.

Corbin opened the chocolate bar and took a bite of it, feeling better.

* * *

"Cassie told us it's your birthday and well, there's a tradition for your first Hogwarts birthday," Stevens said with a grin.

"Oh," Corbin suddenly felt nervous.

"And a one and a two," Stevens raised his hands and led the assembled Ravenclaws in a tuneless but enthusiastic rendition of what Corbin guessed was the school song.

* * *

"Professor, how could I find out Cassius's birthday?"

"It's December 22, the day after the winter solstice." Professor Binns answered. Corbin wondered if the professor knew all of the students' birthdays.

"So, it's over the holiday." Corbin frowned, he'd have to figure out something to give to Cassius before he went home.

"Cassius stays at Hogwarts for his birthday." Binns said, "I believe you are staying as well?"

"I...I don't know." Corbin said slowly, his parents hadn't sent him any letters and he didn't have any money to get a train to Glasgow. He wondered if he'd have to pay for the ticket to London. Then he wondered why Cassius stayed.

* * *

A ghost came out of the wall directly ahead of Corbin and he took in a sharp breath, pleased with himself that he hadn't shrieked. He'd thought he'd gotten used to Professor Binns and Peeves, and the Grey Lady, but this evening it seemed as if there were almost more ghosts than students.

"Aren't you a handsome young man," the ghost simpered before looking behind him and suddenly whirling away. Corbin looked over his shoulder and saw Cassius walking towards him.

"Hi," Corbin greeted him, "Hogwarts: A History said the headless hunt starts at the stroke of seven on Halloween, and I've never seen it - well, obviously - but the book didn't say exactly where it starts."

Cassius didn't pause in his walking but Corbin had become used to that. He fell into step and they walked over to a large stained glass window.

**Author's Note (Part 2): I tried to figure out a way to describe the Headless Hunt (and I totally made up the starting time and place) but I just couldn't figure out a good way to do it so you will all have to use your imagination and/or consult the books and/or movies. :-)**


	3. The First November

Author's Note: I hope someone reads and enjoys this chapter - I had fun writing it and I thought I would send it out into the world. Let me know what you think. :-)

**The First November**

"So, the first game of Quidditch is Saturday. Stevens has been teaching me about it - it's bonkers. It will be good to actually see it, his moving diagrams were really hard to follow. I guess our house team is supposed to be really good, Stevens said there's a good chance they'll win the house cup." Corbin was trying to find his half-finished essay among a pile of scrolls when he was startled by a voice.

"I'm on our house team," the voice said.

Corbin looked around for who could have said it. It took an embarrassing amount of seconds before he realized who had. Cassius's head was still tilted down towards his book.

Corbin felt as surprised as he had when one of the paintings on the walls had spoken to him. "Um. Really? What position do you play?"

"Chaser," Cassius answered as he turned a page. His voice was a lot lower than Corbin had imagined.

"So you chase the flying glitch?"

"Snitch," Cassius said. "No."

"Wait, don't tell me." Corbin thought back to what Stevens had explained. "The seeker looks for the snitch. And the chasers...throw the quaffle and try to score in one of three hoops. Snitch. Quaffle. Honestly, the names are ridiculous," Corbin shook his head with a laugh. Cassius didn't answer. Corbin suddenly felt awkward about the silence in a way he hadn't for weeks. "I mean, it's just, they're different."

Corbin found his essay but he didn't start writing. He'd started thinking of Cassius as his friend because of all the time they spent together the past two months, and he'd gotten so comfortable talking to him and his face got hot thinking about all the nonsense he'd prattled on about. He sometimes imagined what Cassius would say in response. They spent the rest of the evening in silence, Corbin biting his lips several times to keep from talking.

The tolling bell announced it was almost curfew and Corbin started to tidy up his things.

"I like how you talk," Cassius said, looking down at the floor. "Don't not talk to me."

"Alright," Corbin smiled and felt a burst of warmth low in his belly when Cassius looked up at him and smiled at him for the first time.

* * *

The first game of the season was Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff. Corbin sat in the stands with Jones and other students from his house that he'd never said hello to. Cassius and Stevens were both on the team, as well as Malison. Corbin still thought Quidditch was mad, one of the Hufflepuff chasers had gotten knocked off her broom by one of the flying iron balls and had broken her wrist. And there had been so many fights - without one foul called!

"So?" Cassius asked as they were trooping up to their dorms afterward. It was the first time he had spoken to Corbin outside of their classroom and Corbin noticed Owen looking at them curiously.

"It's still bonkers, but it was fun to watch. And you did a good job, I almost thought you were going to fly through Bones before you made your second goal."

Cassius grinned.

* * *

Cassius rubbed his forehead as he turned the page in his book. He hadn't slept well, he kept dreaming of a staircase. He didn't want to talk to Owen about it, Owen was always bothering him about sleeping and dreams so he had snuck to see Poppy to get breakfast and then snuck to their classroom. He had gotten two chapters read before Corbin came in.

Corbin started talking about something - Cassius liked how Corbin talked to him like he expected that Cassius understood. Sometimes Cassius didn't understand but Corbin never got angry when Cassius didn't answer. Cassius didn't like it when people got angry at him. When people got angry at him, he didn't know what to do, his father never listened when he tried to explain and…

"Hey," Corbin's blue eyes were very close, "Alright?"

Cassius wasn't sure what Corbin was asking about. He looked down and saw that Corbin was holding his hand. Was Corbin asking to hold his hand?

"Alright," he answered.

Corbin smiled. He was so pretty when he smiled. And when Cassius smiled back, Corbin's smile grew. Cassius liked to smile back.

"You weren't at breakfast, did you eat something?" Corbin asked.

"Yes," Cassius answered. He had eaten, he hadn't known that Corbin would look for him. "You didn't see me."

"No, I didn't," Corbin smiled again, "I was worried you weren't feeling well."

"I feel well now," Cassius answered, Corbin was still holding his hand.


	4. The First December

**The First December**

"And then," Corbin said, as if Cassius hadn't been right there when it happened, "The potion went all sticky-gooey, and Binns said I didn't stir it the right way! Like there's a right way to stir!"

He and Cassius were walking from the owlery, where Cassius had sent a letter to his brother, to the library. They often took walks as a way of taking a break from all the work they were doing. Professor Binns had made sure that all the prefects knew it was permitted for the two boys to be out of classes. Binns had told them they needed to stay together on the walks. He had caught Corbin's eye and made a meaningful glance at Cassius. Corbin figured they needed to be with each other because of Cassius's impairment.

"Did you know that there are at least nine different ways to stir a potion?" Corbin asked with exasperation. "There was a whole chapter on stirring and I didn't read it because I thought, how hard is stirring!"

Corbin realized that Cassius wasn't next to him anymore. He had stopped several steps back. As Corbin walked back to him, he noticed some older students laughing loudly nearby. One of them was James Potter, he was head boy, and another was his best friend Sirius Black.

"Cassius," Corbin looked at his friend with concern, he was paler than usual.

"Something bad will happen," Cassius said so softly that Corbin had to strain to hear it.

"What? Here?" Corbin knew there was a war, the Daily Prophet sometimes had articles about Death Eater attacks but Hogwarts had wards and spells protecting it, surely they were safe there.

"Something bad," Cassius repeated, still staring at the older boys but now he seemed to be looking right through them.

Corbin looked towards the older boys and Sirius Black had noticed them. He was staring back at Cassius with an expression Corbin couldn't read.

Corbin grabbed Cassius's hand and tugged him the opposite way from the boys under the tree. "Nothing bad is going to happen." He said firmly. "If they try anything, I'll hex them. I just learned the stinging hex. Well, I think I did - I can't try it on anyone, can I."

Corbin got them to the courtyard and Cassius sat down on a bench. Corbin sat down next to him, more because Cassius didn't let go of his hand than because he wanted to.

Cassius looked at him, but he seemed to be seeing something else.

"It's alright. I'm here. I'll stay with you until you feel better." Corbin watched students start to go by - they were on their way to their next class. Corbin hardly paid attention to the tolling bells anymore since he and Cassius didn't attend classes. He was very aware of the fact he was holding Cassius's hand. He'd sometimes thought...but Cassius seemed childlike and different, and anyway, he shouldn't like a boy like that. As they sat there in silence, he felt Cassius's hand warm up.

He shook their clasped hands gently to get Cassius's attention, "Hey."

Cassius turned towards him but his eyes were still unfocused. Whatever was happening wasn't over yet. Corbin had learned to be patient when these sudden dysfunctions happened. He was mentally writing his essay for History of Magic when he saw Jones walking towards them.

"Cassie! What's wrong?" Jones asked.

Cassius didn't answer.

"He said something bad was going to happen and he got cold." Corbin answered. "Is he a seer?"

"No." Jones answered. "I'll take care of him. You can go."

"Oh," Corbin felt dismissed and didn't like it. But Jones had been friends with Cassius for years, he supposed Jones knew what to do better than he did. He stood up and Cassius's grip on his hand turned painful.

"Cassie, I'll take you to see Madame Pomfrey." Jones said, "Corbin doesn't know the way."

Cassius didn't respond and Corbin wasn't sure but he thought he heard the bones in his hand creak. Cassius was a lot stronger than he looked.

Corbin sat back down, "It's alright, Cassius." Jones sat down on Cassius's other side, frowning.

Corbin breathed out a sigh of relief as Cassius let go of his hand.

"Owen?" Cassius asked, his eyes had lost their thousand-yard stare.

"Of course, it's me," Jones answered, "Let's go see Madame Pomfrey."

"No, I have to get back to my classroom," Cassius answered, standing up.

"What did you see?" Owen asked as they walked towards the castle. Corbin followed at a distance. "You were upset, what happened?"

Cassius didn't answer and Corbin wondered again what type of impairment Cassius had.

* * *

"Shouldn't you be in class? Only Gryffindors have a free period right now," a tall thin boy with a prefect's badge asked. Corbin was pretty sure his name was Lupin, he was dating Sirius Black. Some girls in Ravenclaw had been talking about seeing them kiss in the library.

"No, I'm on independent study with Professor Binns," Corbin answered.

"Oh, yes, that's right. I've just never seen you by yourself." Lupin nodded.

Corbin was almost positive that he was allowed to be on his own. He felt his face get hot. He was near the Gryffindor dorms because he was trying to find a painting that was mentioned in Hogwarts: A History and Cassius wasn't around to go with him because Jones had taken him to the hospital wing for some reason. He was just glad that it had been Lupin who found him. Corbin liked Lupin, in spite of the fact he was gay because he was nice, nicer than his friends who tended to bully the younger students.

"Well, have fun in independent study," Lupin said with a small smile, heading off down the hallway towards the library.

* * *

After finding the painting, Corbin wandered back towards their classroom and met up with Stevens and Cassius.

"I'm late for class," Stevens said, rushing off as Cassius tugged at his tie.

"What on earth are you doing?" Corbin asked, as they walked into their classroom. It looked like Cassius was trying to strangle himself. Cassius didn't answer. Corbin looked more closely and noticed the tie was badly knotted.

He walked close to Cassius, "I'll help. Here," Corbin worked the knot out of Cassius's tie, trying not to feel awkward as Cassius stared up at him. Finally the tie was undone and Corbin pulled it off.

"Here," Cassius reached for it.

"I know, I'm going to tie it, but I can't tie it on you, I only know how to do the proper knot when it's my tie." Corbin put the tie around his neck and quickly did a loose Windsor knot. He pulled the knotted tie over his head and then put it over Cassius's. He smoothed Cassius's hair which he suspected Cassius had cut again, fixed Cassius's collar noticing his shirt was buttoned up all wrong, then tightened the tie. "There."

"There," Cassius repeated.

"Did you just decide to start wearing your tie today? I've never noticed you wear one." Corbin moved to the table and sat down.

"You wear one." Cassius echoed.

Corbin tried not to sigh. It was going to be a day of echoes then, he sometimes thought he'd rather have the silence. But...he realized it hadn't been an echo: Cassius had noticed Corbin wore a tie and wanted to wear one too. He smiled at Cassius and Cassius smiled back.

* * *

The next morning, in their classroom after breakfast, Cassius brought his tie over to Corbin and handed it to him silently. Corbin looked at the shorter boy and noticed again that his shirt was buttoned up wrong. He reached for the top button and fixed it, then one by one, he buttoned Cassius's shirt correctly without saying a word. He put the tie around his neck and did a loose knot before putting it around Cassius's neck. He tightened the tie and then finger combed Cassius's unruly hair.

It became a morning ritual that lasted, in one way or another, until they graduated.

* * *

The great hall was decorated for the holidays with fairy lights and garlands and mistletoe. It was so beautiful that Corbin almost didn't mind that he wasn't going home.

He was gazing around at the decorations when suddenly Annemarie Gordan's mouth was warm and damp against his and Corbin didn't know what to do. She stepped back and gave him a smile before walking off.

Corbin felt his face grow hot. He hadn't realized he'd been standing under mistletoe until her mouth had pressed up against his. It was his first kiss with a girl. It had been less exciting than holding Cassius's hand. He shook his head at himself.

* * *

"Um, so, it's your birthday, and well," Corbin fidgeted. He didn't have any money but he'd asked Professor Dumbledore about getting a musical instrument so he could so something for Cassius. The headmaster had directed Corbin to a grand piano on the third floor near the great staircase. Corbin was a bit out of practice but, he did have a few pieces memorized.

"This is my birthday present to you. I didn't write it, it's by a muggle composer named Beethoven, it's called 'Moonlight' Sonata. I thought, well, it's not much, but it's my present for you. You sit down." Cassius sat on the floor right where he'd been standing next to the piano bench. Corbin thought about telling him to sit somewhere different but it didn't really matter.

He rubbed his hands together, took a breath and began to play.

After he'd finished, he looked at Cassius who was looking at him in amazement. Corbin grinned. "Happy Birthday, Cassius."

Cassius scrambled to his feet and sat down next to Corbin, taking his hand and putting it on the keys again.

"You want another song? This is one of my favorites. It's by a really famous band, well, famous where I come from. It really is better on a guitar but I don't have my guitar here."

He played and sang "Blackbird" by the Beatles.

He was showing Cassius how to put his fingers on the keys and do simple scales when the bell tolled for dinner.

Cassius took his hand again, "Thank you for my birthday, Corbin."

"You're welcome." Corbin smiled

* * *

Author's Note: The first scene in the chapter references something that most readers are probably familiar with if you've read other stories by me, but if you are in the dark, like Corbin is, you can wait until Corbin finds out what is going on or you can read about it in "Somewhere Only We Know" Chapter 11: Lessons, or "Finding Love" Chapter 21 and/or Chapter 41.

Also, I tried to embed links to the music Corbin plays but it didn't work - they are both pieces you can find if you search on youtube or any music streaming service. :-)


	5. The First January

**The First January**

"Ah, Mr. Hill, you seem at loose ends," Professor Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes, "Cassius is in the hospital wing if you would like some company."

"I thought he was visiting family?" Corbin asked. Corbin had been counting the days until the holiday was over - Cassius had been gone for four days and Corbin was lonely.

"Yes," Professor Dumbledore said, "Yes, he was. He is back now."

"And I can visit?"

"Yes, he is well enough for a visit," Dumbledore answered, "Do you know the way?"

Corbin shook his head, he'd never visited the hospital wing of the castle.

"This way," Dumbledore walked down a hall that Corbin hadn't been, "Tell me, Mr. Hill, what do you think of Hogwarts?"

"I...I like it," Corbin said, "It's just...it's strange, isn't it? That we can do things most people think are impossible."

"It is what we are, there have been witches and wizards for centuries," Dumbledore said, "Why would that be if being magical were unnatural? There are other muggle-born students who also have had a hard time adjusting, Lily Evans would be happy to talk with you."

"I...I'll think about it," Corbin answered. He couldn't imagine actually talking with someone about all the feelings he had about this strange place.

* * *

"Good morning, Albus," the matronly witch greeted the headmaster with a smile.

"Madame Pomfrey, this is Corbin Hill," Dumbledore gestured towards Corbin.

The witch's smile grew wider, "So nice to meet you, Cassius has told me so much about you."

Corbin didn't know what to say to that, so he just smiled back.

Madame Pomfrey pointed Corbin towards the far corner of the infirmary where there was a screen blocking what Corbin assumed was a bed.

* * *

"Hi," Corbin greeted Cassius who was sitting cross-legged on the bed. He didn't look sick but… "Professor Dumbledore said you're sick and I thought, maybe you might be bored, and well, I thought I'd visit."

"Corbin," Cassius said, and his face lit up with a smile.

"That's right," Corbin said, after it was clear Cassius wasn't going to say anything more. He noticed a chessboard nearby with the pieces in a box beside it. "You want to play chess?"

"You want to play chess?" Cassius asked, and Corbin couldn't tell if he was echoing or asking.

"I want to play chess with you," Corbin answered.

"I want to play chess with you," Cassius said.

Corbin decided to take the echo as a definitive answer. He picked up the chessboard and pieces, looking around for a place to set them.

Madame Pomfrey appeared suddenly and directed Corbin to a small table with two chairs by the nearby window.

He wasn't surprised to find that Cassius wasn't a good chess player.

They were in the middle of their second game when the bell chimed for lunch.

"Oh," Corbin stood up, "I'll come back after lunch."

"You stay," Cassius stood up too.

"Oh, I," Corbin felt awkward as Madame Pomfrey came over to them carrying a tray of food.

"Make Corbin stay, Poppy," Cassius tugged at Madame Pomfrey's sleeve.

"You are most welcome to stay, Mr. Hill," Madame Pomfrey said with a smile, as she placed the tray on the windowsill. "I fixed enough food for both of you."

"Alright then," Corbin sat down.

"Thank you, Poppy," Cassius said.

Corbin was reaching for a sandwich when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Madame Pomfrey bend and kiss Cassius's forehead. He wondered if maybe they were related although they didn't look alike.

* * *

The liquid in the cauldron was bubbling gently. Corbin and Cassius stood a few steps away, waiting for it to change color. Cassius put his hand up to his mouth and started to bite at his fingers, he was almost sure he had stirred it the right way. He bit through the skin of one of his fingers and the metallic taste burst on his tongue. He switched to the next finger to do the same thing, and his hand was tugged from his mouth.

He braced himself for...for something. But nothing came. He looked over at Corbin who was holding a bit of cloth against his finger.

"Look!" Corbin said with a smile, "it's purple now!"

"No," Cassius pulled his hand back and looked at it.

"I meant your potion, silly," Corbin laughed.

Cassius had never been called silly. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad...but Corbin was smiling.

"You did it," Corbin's hand touched Cassius's back once, twice, then again. "Come on, I'm starving."

"Starving," Cassius agreed, he couldn't remember the last time he ate.

"If we hurry, we'll still get lunch," Corbin said, walking to the door,

"Lunch." Cassius had thought maybe it was tea time. If it was only lunch, then he and Corbin could walk to the greenhouses after to see the bitterroot plants that Poppy had told him were blooming.

* * *

Corbin stared at the name at the top of the scroll. Cassius had handed it to him to show him his joined-up writing. He'd thought Cassius was his last name, it was strange but so many of the wizarding names were - and this whole time, almost five months, he'd been a Malfoy.

Corbin swallowed hard. "You, um, you're a Malfoy."

Cassius looked at him with confusion.

"I mean - you're a Malfoy," Corbin said the name with more emphasis, "We shouldn't be friends."

Jack had told him Malfoys hated anyone who wasn't pureblood. A Malfoy wouldn't want to be friends with him. But...Corbin was sure he'd told Cassius he was a mudblood - it was apparently a horribly rude word to describe people like him, born of normal - muggle - parents. So maybe Cassius didn't care? Or maybe Cassius just didn't remember. While Corbin had been thinking, Cassius had stood up from the table, dropping his quill, and walked quickly from the room.

"I meant," Corbin started, shivering in the draft caused by the door opening, but it was too late, the door had slammed close. He swore loudly in the empty classroom.


	6. The First February

Author's Note: Happy Winter Solstice, everyone! Cassius's birthday is tomorrow so in his honor, have a chapter! :-)

**The First February**

After lunch, Corbin went to their classroom hoping that Cassius would be there. Corbin hadn't seen Cassius since he'd left the classroom earlier that morning, even though Corbin had searched for him for hours. He opened the door and saw Professor Dumbledore standing near the windows.

"Cassius told me you don't want to study together anymore," Dumbledore said, "I thought you were getting along so well.

"We were, we are. It's just a misunderstanding," Corbin said quickly, "We will still study together, Professor."

"I am very glad to hear it," the headmaster said. "Professor Binns would like you to decide the next courses. You have almost caught up to third-year courses, this is the year when students get to pick two electives."

* * *

Corbin continued searching for Cassius most of the afternoon, swearing under his breath at the size of the castle, before finally finding him at a table in the library with Jones and Malison. His stomach felt queasy as he walked closer, but he was determined to show Cassius he still wanted to be his friend.

"Hello," Corbin said to the table in general, sitting next to Cassius who didn't acknowledge him. "Cassius, Professor Dumbledore just told me that we need to decide our electives so Binns can start planning for us. I thought we could choose the same ones so we can keep studying together." Corbin placed the list on top of the book Cassius was reading so Cassius would be forced to see it. "I really want to do Care of Magical Creatures. Then maybe Divination?"

"Divination is rubbish," Cassius said with more feeling than he usually spoke with. Corbin grabbed Cassius's quill and crossed it off the list, not noticing Malison's eyes widen at the familiarity.

"So we just need one more," Corbin leaned close to Cassius to look at the list again, "Ancient Runes? Or Arithmancy?"

He waited, trying to keep from jiggling his leg or tapping his fingers, sometimes, he knew, Cassius needed a long time to answer.

"Ancient Runes," Cassius finally said. Corbin crossed out Arithmancy wondering, as he did so, what it was.

"Brilliant," Corbin stood up, "I'll go tell him. I'll meet you in our classroom after dinner?"

Cassius nodded once.

* * *

Corbin tapped the table nervously, waiting for Cassius, he hadn't gone to dinner to be sure that he'd be in the room when Cassius arrived. Finally, Cassius appeared. He closed the door behind him but didn't move into the room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean I didn't want to be your friend," Corbin said. "I want to be your friend. I just thought. I was surprised that you wanted to be my friend. I'm not a pureblood. Both my parents are muggles."

"I don't care."

"So, you're like Sirius -," Corbin remembered Jack telling him that Sirius Black wasn't like the rest of the Blacks.

"I'm not like Cousin Sirius." Cassius interrupted angrily and Corbin was so taken aback by the emotion in his friend's voice that he didn't notice that Cassius had referred to Sirius as his cousin.

"I'm sorry. I just meant, I'm sorry, I didn't, I keep saying the wrong thing," Corbin shook his head. "When I was on the train, Jack - you know, Bartleby, he's in Gryffindor? Well, he helped me find the platform and he told me to stay away from anyone named Malfoy, Black, or LeStrange. And anyone in Slytherin. And I've been doing really well with that, only I didn't know you were a Malfoy."

"You're the only person I've ever met who hasn't known I'm a Malfoy at first sight," Cassius said.

"Oh, go on," Corbin looked at him skeptically.

"Do you see that painting over there?" Cassius pointed to a portrait of a young lady with white-blonde hair hung on the far wall. "That's my great-great-grandmother. You see anyone and they have that color hair, they're a Malfoy. Everyone knows that."

"One of the Slytherin prefects is a Malfoy then?" Corbin had stayed clear of the tall girl with white-blonde hair who always glared at him.

"She's my cousin, Flavia," Cassius answered. "My cousin Titus is in Slytherin too. Malfoys are always in Slytherin."

"But, you're not," Corbin said, wondering if Cassius knew that.

Cassius didn't answer.

"Do Malfoys really always have your color hair?"

Cassius nodded, "And gray eyes."

Cassius's eyes were downcast but Corbin was almost positive they were green. The silence stretched for a long time before Corbin decided to break it.

"I didn't have a chance to tell you this morning, your joined-up writing is pretty," Corbin said, knowing, after all these months, that Cassius thought pretty was a word of high praise.

Cassius's head jerked up, "You think so?"

"Yes," Corbin smiled. "Very pretty."

* * *

"Charms are useless," Cassius frowned. "When would I use one?"

"My dear boy, a warming charm is just the thing for this time of year, that's why we are learning it." Professor Flitwick replied. He had started to meet with them once a week because of how much practice charms took. Corbin privately thought they were easy but Cassius could rarely manage to do them.

"Malfoys don't get cold," Cassius said as if he were reciting it. "So I don't need to learn one."

"Mr. Hill gets cold," Flitwick said, and they both turned to look at Corbin.

"It's freezing in this castle," Corbin protested. Before he had mastered the warming charm, which he could only aim at his legs and feet, he'd been wearing two pairs of socks just to keep feeling in his toes.

"Corbin's brilliant. He can do the charm himself," Cassius scowled.

"Yes, he can, however, as his friend it would be very kind of you to do one for him." Professor Flitwick answered calmly, "What if he had misplaced his wand? It does happen, more often than you think."

Cassius kept frowning. Maybe I need to pretend to need more practice, Corbin thought to himself, maybe that would make Cassius feel better. Cassius seemed to be aware now of his impairment in a way he hadn't been before.

"It would be nice," Corbin said, "I can only cast the charm on my feet. And my hands are freezing."

Professor Flitwick gave him a small nod and smile.

"Oh. Well. I can't remember the words," Cassius's hand rubbed at his forehead before he turned and walked towards the windows. Professor Flitwick followed and Corbin could hear him patiently practicing the words with Cassius. Corbin opened his transfiguration book and started to read the next chapter. A few minutes later, Professor Binns floated through the wall.

"Good evening, Mr. Hill."

"Good evening, Professor." Corbin greeted his teacher.

"Ah, I see Flitwick is working with Mr. Malfoy on the warming charm." Binns nodded. Corbin thought it was kind of him not to include 'still' in that observation. Cassius had been working on mastering the charm for weeks.

"Yes," Corbin answered, glanced over at the window. "He's practicing to cast the charm on me. Professor," he lowered his voice," If Cassius can't do it, I won't get turned into a toad or something, will I?"

"No, no, if he gets it wrong, nothing will happen," Binns assured him.

Corbin still felt nervous as he stood there, an hour later, and Cassius pointed his wand in Corbin's direction. Corbin had little faith Cassius would be able to do the charm successfully. It didn't help that Cassius closed his eyes as he did the charm.

Corbin felt a whoosh of warmth from head to toe. "You did it!"

"I did?" Cassius looked down at his wand in surprise as Flitwick clapped his hands gleefully.

"Oh, I'll make you practice that one a lot, my fingers are like icicles when we're studying."

"I did it!" Cassius grinned.


	7. The First March

**Author's Rambling: **It's been years since I first started writing these characters (oh my goodness, has it been YEARS!), and I've changed my original backstory about Corbin and Cassius just slightly - making them friends for longer than originally - and it's made me think about something...

There are several times in my other stories when Corbin tells someone that he and Cassius were never friends and/or that they never talked about their feelings.* I have always had it in my mind that Corbin is not telling the truth in those moments. No matter when they became friends (3rd Year vs 5th Year), they were indeed close friends and had a deep connection that was more than physical. Corbin doesn't want to admit to anyone (not even himself) how close he and Cassius were or how much they loved each other.

The only reason Corbin broke up with Cassius at the start of their 7th year was to earn back his parents' approval. He never really did, in spite of his efforts to be straight and suppress his magic, and that caused him to be increasingly bitter and closed off, which we see the results of in "Collide", and my other stories.

After they broke up, Corbin was cruel to Cassius because that was easier than being friendly, and Cassius was cruel to Corbin because of how much Corbin had hurt him.

I also tried to show in my other stories that even after they broke up, Cassius was never as guarded in front of Corbin as he was in front of other people.** They were close enough for long enough that Cassius retained the muscle memory of being comfortable around Corbin.

*Scenes in Chapter 4 of Final Year, Chapter 13 of Collide, 5 of Finding Love Interludes

**one example: a scene in Chapter 6 of Back in Black where Cassius and Corbin are arguing and Cassius immediately changes his tone/manner when Jack comes in

**The First March**

Cassius was already sitting at the house table in the Great Hall when Corbin arrived for breakfast. Cassius had managed to get his favorite jam on the first try and was enjoying a rare third piece of toast. He remembered that it wasn't polite to talk with his mouth full, so he didn't.

"Good morning, Hill," Stevens waved Corbin over to the seat next to him. Stevens always made people feel welcome, Cassius thought he was the nicest person at Hogwarts.

"Morning," Corbin sat down and reached for the teapot.

"Hill, what do muggles eat for breakfast?" Malison asked.

"Uh," Corbin looked uneasy as everyone looked at him, Cassius knew Corbin hated when people looked right at him, mudbloods thought it was rude, which was an odd thing to think, "It's similar to this - only the names of the cereals aren't the same. And I don't know anyone who drinks pumpkin juice."

Owls started to swoop through the Great Hall delivering mail.

"Your parents never write," Owen said after his parents' owl had delivered its scroll. Owen got a letter from his parents every day, Cassius knew that.

"They don't have an owl," Corbin answered.

"Evans told Bones that her parents bought her an owl just so they could write back and forth," Malison said.

Corbin took a drink of his tea and didn't answer.

"How do your parents contact you then?" Owen asked.

"They don't," Corbin said in an odd flat voice that Cassius didn't like. Cassius tried to remember, there was something Corbin had said once about his parents...

"Why not?" Malison asked curiously.

"They just don't," Corbin said, standing up abruptly and leaving the hall without another word.

"What do you suppose that's about?" Owen asked curiously.

Cassius wasn't sure how to explain it so he didn't answer.

"Eat up," Stevens said, "We're booked on the Quidditch pitch this morning for practice."

* * *

Corbin was reading his DADA textbook and was so engrossed that he startled when a steaming mug was plunked down on the table next to him. He looked up and Cassius was standing there.

"It is tea," Cassius said, "For you to drink."

"Thank you," Corbin said.

"And," Cassius reached into his pockets and brought out a roll, a fried sausage, several pieces of bacon, two kippers, and a bowl of porridge. "I don't remember what you like.

Corbin blinked at the assortment of food on the table, "Oh. Wow."

"You didn't eat," Cassius said. "You will get hungry if you do not eat."

"You're very nice to bring me all this," Corbin said.

Cassius's brow furrowed, "Malfoys aren't nice."

"Oh," Corbin wasn't sure what to say to that and before he could think of a reply, Cassius turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Corbin searched Stevens out later that day when it had become clear that Cassius was avoiding him.

"I...could I ask you something?"

"You just did!" Stevens grinned.

"You're friends with Cassius."

"Yes," Stevens looked guarded.

"I think….I think I insulted him."

"Oh?" Stevens' eyes narrowed.

"I said he was nice," Corbin felt silly saying it.

"Oh." Stevens relaxed immediately, "Yes, you insulted him, no doubt about that."

"Really? Is this something I don't understand because I'm from the muggle world?"

"As a rule, Malfoys are not nice. And if they are nice, they do not like it to be pointed out. Flavia once let me pass by her in the stacks and believe me, I did not say anything to her, not even 'thank you'."

"That...seems very strange."

"I'm not saying I agree, but I'm not saying I disagree, either," Stevens winked. "I'm surprised Cassie didn't hex you."

Corbin wasn't sure if Stevens was joking or not, "Maybe he couldn't remember one."

Stevens shook his head and looked towards the window. He looked like whatever he was thinking was painful to him. Corbin thought he shouldn't have been flippant about Cassius's impairment. He was opening his mouth to apologize when Stevens spoke in a soft voice.

"Cassius Malfoy remembers more hexes than most wizards or witches ever learn."

* * *

It was the last Saturday of the month and families could visit Hogwarts. Corbin liked to hide out in their classroom, it was painful to see the other students with their parents when his own wanted nothing to do with him.

"Oh," Corbin stopped suddenly in the doorway, there was a man standing by the windows of their classroom. He was very tall and had the same white-blond hair as Cassius.

"You must be Corbin," The man said, his gray eyes looking Corbin over, "I am Lucius Malfoy." Cassius's older brother didn't hold out his hand but he sounded friendly enough.

"Hello," Corbin glanced around the room, "Um, I'm sorry for the mess."

"Cassius has told me so much about you,"

"He has?" Corbin couldn't help blurting out. This was the second person to say that to him and he had no idea why they were lying when Cassius couldn't seem to string more than a few original thoughts together.

Lucius gave a small smile that seemed a little sad, "Yes. You are mentioned in almost every letter Cassius writes to me. Although, please clear something up for me, what was it you did on his birthday?"

"I played the piano," Corbin said.

"Ah," Lucius smiled, "He thought it was very pretty banging."

Corbin laughed. He should have known that the people who knew Cassius best had ways of understanding how Cassius communicated.

"Luke!" Cassius came into the classroom. "Here you are!"

"I wanted to see your classroom."

"We would have cleaned it if we had known that," Cassius said with a laugh, giving his brother a hug. Their classroom was a mess of books and scrolls and empty mugs. Stepping back, he pointed to Corbin, "This is Corbin."

"Yes, we just met." Lucius nodded. "Aunt is here as well, she wants us to join her for lunch."

"I'm starving," Cassius said, "Come on."

His brother cleared his throat.

"Corbin, would you like to join us?" Cassius asked politely.

"You are very welcome to," his brother added.

"Oh, no, uh, I've got plans," Corbin said, restraining himself from saying thank you.

The two Malfoys gave him identical nods before turning and leaving the classroom.

"My dear nephew," Corbin could hear a woman's voice in the hallway. He crept to the door and saw a beautiful, tall woman with white-blonde hair hugging Cassius. "It is so good to set eyes on you again."

The three Malfoys walked down the corridor together leaving Corbin alone. He closed the door to their classroom.

Monday morning found Corbin curled up on the wide window ledge in their classroom. He had a bit of a cold, so he had brought down his pillow and thick quilt. He had convinced Cassius to do several warming charms by muttering to himself about how cold he was. Now he was warm and cozy and he had a book to read, it was a practically perfect morning.

He was reading Hogwarts: A History because that didn't require as much concentration as his textbooks. He turned the page and there was a folded up piece of paper. He unfolded it to reveal several lines of flowing script.

_Dear Aunt Black,_

_Spring has come to Hogwarts. All the trees are in bloom, except the Whomping Willow. It moves around so violently that the blossoms fall as soon as they flower. _

_Grandfather wrote that I will accompany the two of you when you travel to the Lake District near Midsummer. I know that must be because of your influence and I am grateful for it__._

"Cassius, look at what I found," Corbin held out the unfinished letter. Cassius walked over and took the paper from Corbin. His brow furrowed as he seemed to be reading it.

"It's addressed to an Aunt Black, So...maybe a relative of Regulus Black? Or Sirius Black? Are there other Blacks?"

"Where did you find it?" Cassius asked

"In Hogwarts: A History," Corbin gestured to the open book in his lap.

Cassius stared at the book for a long moment.

"Someone must have had the book before us," Corbin said.

"I don't remember," Cassius said, and he handed back the letter to Corbin and walked back over to the long table to resume his reading in their potions textbook.

Corbin turned to the front of the book, wondering if the previous owner had put their name in the book - he didn't remember noticing one, but he hadn't been looking - and there, written on the flyleaf in an unfamiliar handwriting, was a name he recognized:

_Cassius Julian Aurelius Malfoy_

Corbin read the name a second time and then a third and then looked surreptitiously at Cassius. The handwriting looked nothing like how Cassius wrote now. And wouldn't Cassius have remembered it was his book? Corbin read through the letter again, it didn't sound at all like Cassius. What on earth had happened?


	8. The First April

Author's Notes: This winter was hard and I was just starting to feel better when the COVID-19 pandemic hit. My state has been under a stay-at-home order for two weeks and I'm working from home. I finally spent some time working on my writing to escape reality. I'd love to know what you think.

**The First April**

Cassius had gotten a scroll and small package at breakfast but he hadn't opened them at the table. Now that they were in their classroom, Cassius was sitting cross-legged on the wide windowsill, smiling as he read whatever was written on the scroll. Cassius had a nice smile, Corbin thought to himself.

"Is that from your mum and dad?" Corbin asked curiously. He had seen Cassius's brother and aunt, but Cassius had never mentioned his parents.

"From my aunt," Cassius answered, putting down the scroll.

"From your Aunt Malfoy?" Corbin asked, remembering the wizarding custom of referring to aunts and uncles by their surname.

"Who?" Cassius looked up at him with a raised brow, as he started opening the package.

"Your aunt - at the last visiting weekend, your aunt was here and she has hair like yours, so she's a Malfoy."

"She was. But she's been married to my Uncle Black since before I was born," Cassius said, pulling a biscuit tin, a book, an ink pot, and two quills from the small box.

"Oh, your Aunt Black," Corbin murmured, thinking that this aunt had to be the intended recipient of the unfinished letter he had found in Hogwarts a History. He wondered if she was the mother of Regulus and Sirius Black. He'd never seen Cassius talking to either one of them. He'd gone to school with three of his cousins, one in the same grade, and he couldn't imagine not talking to them….he missed them terribly. He wasn't able to phone them since Hogwarts didn't have a telephone and he couldn't write, his parents would be furious if they heard an owl had delivered a letter to someone in their family. His thoughts were interrupted by something bumping his hand. He looked down to see the open biscuit tin. Corbin smiled and took a biscuit, putting it in his mouth before he could say thank you.

They sat in companionable silence, eating several biscuits each.

"My mother's dead," Cassius said softly, "She died. Killed. She killed herself dead."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Corbin said. He wondered if the wizarding world believed that people like Cassius's mother would burn in hell for what they had done. It was what Corbin had been taught: suicide was a sin. "You must miss her."

"I don't remember her," Cassius said, looking out the window, "I was little."

Corbin watched as tears began to run unchecked down Cassius's pale cheek. He reached out tentatively, and put his hand on top of Cassius's. He breathed in sharply as Cassius moved to take Corbin's hand in an iron grip. They sat in silence for a long while and Corbin was just beginning to resign himself to never having feeling in his hand again when Cassius let it go and stood up.

"I finished the reading for Herbology so you can have the book now." Cassius said, as if nothing had happened.

"Thanks," Corbin said, before he could stop himself. Cassius didn't answer as he opened their Care of Magical Creatures book.

* * *

Owen looked down the table at where Hill was sitting by himself, reading a book as he ate a bowl of soup. Hill was strange, Owen thought to himself. Even though it was almost the end of the school year, he hadn't made any friends. He was almost as quiet as Cassie was now, which reminded him…

"Cassie, has Dumbledore told you if you'll be in classes again next year?"

Cassius nodded, reaching for the pitcher of pumpkin juice.

"Yes, he told you or yes you'll be in classes?" Owen asked.

"In classes."

"That's brilliant!" Owen grinned, "Then we can sit together and study together and you won't be stuck with Hill."

"What do you mean?" Cassius asked, glancing over to where Hill sat.

"You've had to spend every day with him, it must be boring, he never talks," Owen said.

Cassius looked confused.

"What?" Owen asked, unsure of what Cassius could be confused about.

"He doesn't talk?" Cassius asked.

"Barely does," Owen nodded, "You must know that."

"I think he talks to me."

"Oh," Owen looked over at Hill again, Hill's soup spoon was almost to his open mouth but Hill was ignoring it as he turned the page in his book. Owen wondered what was so interesting.

* * *

"Is your father coming to visit this weekend?" Corbin asked.

"No. No," Cassius shook his head. "He can't leave home anymore. It's not safe. My grandfather and great-grandfather are going to visit. You'll like them, only if Great-Grandfather asks you where we're sailing, please say the Galápagos Islands."

Corbin laughed, "Really?"

"It doesn't hurt to humour him." Cassius was obviously reciting something another family member had said.

"No, it doesn't." Corbin agreed, schooling his face to be more solemn. "How long has he been sailing there?"

Cassius thought for a moment, "For as long as I can remember."

"He doesn't mind that it's taking a long time?" Corbin decided it didn't hurt to pretend Cassius had a good memory.

"Oh, he's not always sailing there. Sometimes he's on a train to Ipswich," Cassius smiled.

Corbin was looking forward to meeting Cassius's grandfather and great-grandfather, and he wondered what was wrong with Cassius's father that the world was too hazardous for him.


End file.
